Thursday, May 6, 2010

Confessions of a SAHM

1. I'm not entirely convinced that this picture is an appropriate match for this post, but I've been saving it for a while and figured it would be a nice way to start out. So that's my first confession.

2. Some days I spend more time on the computer than I do interacting with my children. Yes, I am working to change it.

3. I have a problem with a vicious cycle of guilt and blame-- thinking my husband works harder than I, and thinking that I work harder than he.

4. Never getting to clock out can be really tiring, and even when I do get a "break" it's hard not to be anxious about when I'm going to get "beeped" as I'm pretty much always on call.

5. Sometimes I genuinely didn't have time to clean that day, and sometimes it didn't get done because I just procrastinated all day.

6. Cloth-diapering is becoming more of a challenge now that Josiah's poops are getting less runny and more sticky. I've been tempted to "temporarily" switch back to disposables but I'm committed to stick with it. Besides, a poopy diaper is still a poopy diaper. And it's not like he even has them every day!

7. Being a parent is SO much harder than I ever imagined it would. Before I got pregnant with my first child, my visions of motherhood consisted of breastfeeding, holding, and in all other ways bonding with my baby, dressing him/her up in cute little outfits, peaceful strolls in the park, enjoying the oohs and ahhs of family, friends and strangers. Little did I know.

8. I have no desire to homeschool my children. I have the utmost respect and admiration for those that do it, but I just feel like I'm going to want to enjoy a break every day. Maybe it's just my daughter's personality that makes me feel that way, I don't know. I wish I felt differently, but I don't. However, I'm no stranger to the Lord changing my heart.

9. I make way too many excuses. I need to just work with what I've got and where I am.

10. Sometimes I judge. Other moms that don't believe/practice the way I do, and myself for not being as good of a mom as the ones that I look up to. I know, I need to stop.

11. I've never, ever cleaned my baseboards.

12. I don't always make Julia wash her hands after using the potty, even in public restrooms.

13. I just realized TODAY that Julia yells because she learned it from me. Ouch.

14. I second guess a lot of the parenting decisions I make. Most recently, circumcision.

15. I need to be constantly reminded of what's most important in my parenting: building a relationship with my children, setting an example for them to make good decisions and love the Lord.

16. It feels good to still have a nice figure after having 2 kids. Don't be jealous, because I have my own cross to bear.

17. This has nothing to do with anything mom-esque, but after all we've done the last few months to change our eating habits, we broke our sweets fast today with not one but 2 very sugary desserts at cheddar's to celebrate closing on our house. I'm not going to feel guilty, especially because I know I'm not going to get back into the habit of eating sweets all the time.

18. Josiah might get one bath a week, and unless Julia gets one (which she does every 2-3 nights), it just doesn't occur to me to brush her teeth. I keep hoping we get a good report when we take her to the dentist for the first time this summer.

19. I wish my blog was as cool as some other mommy bloggers' out there.

20. And finally, I will probably think of many more and want to come back and add them, and I just might if I can't resist. I obsess like that. Even over little things. Like matching things, or deliberately making something unmatch as much as possible, or organizing something way more than necessary, or trying to think of a witty way to end my posts.

There you have it. Some of it.


  1. I loved this! It made me laugh, and I totally relate to like 21 out of 20 of math's a little rusty ;]

    STOP COMPARING YOURSELF! It will eat away at you in the middle of the night, and haunt you until you die! Seriously. I have to take a step back every five minu...I mean, every now and then and really evaluate myself, and it sucks. But God created you perfectly. It's a tough pill to swallow.

  2. I'm with Mae, I identified with almost everything you wrote on here, and then some. Why are we Mommy's so very hard on ourselves? I think I forget that God made me unique, so of course the way I do things isn't going to be like everyone else. Way too much stress involved. I think I may need to come up with a list of "good" things I see in myself. lol! may be a short one, but it would at least help remind me!

  3. I LOVED it. So honest and open. I'm totally there with you on some of these. I have said it before- being a SAHM is the most demanding job I have ever had, but also the MOST rewarding. Happy Mother's Day!

  4. This is the first time I read this! I love it! Love Brooke

  5. I just discovered your blog and I am glad I did. I could relate with what you wrote.

    ~Christine = )

  6. Thanks everyone! I don't think I've ever received so much positive feedback from a blog post. How encouraging!

  7. Awesome post, Joanna. I could've written most of these myself ; - )Being a mom is so challenging, but I think it's ten times harder when women are unwilling to be transparent. I love that I have friends I can be real with!