If you want to check out the original Not Me! Monday, hop on over to MckMama's blog.
The purpose is to confess our less-than-pleasant moments by denying them outright. It's kind of therapeutic, so join in if you'd like!
Ok, here goes:
~Last week I washed the cover on my nursing pillow. It had NOT been several months since I last washed it. Nope! I'm definitely more hygenic than that. And there is NO way there were any boogers on it. And even if there were, they most certainly were NOT mine. I would NEVER pick my boogers while nursing Josiah and wipe them on a Boppy. Not me!
~The other day after feeding Josiah a cheerio-esque snack in his high chair, he did NOT throw most of them on the floor. My children are very well-trained soon after starting solids to simply push the food they do not want, to the edge of their tray. And I definitely did NOT pick them up off the floor and eat them myself. I'm NOT so lazy as to scrounge the kitchen tile for food instead of sweeping it up and putting it in the trash. But even if I was, it's ok because my floors are ALWAYS sparkling and spotless, fit to eat off of.
~Julia and I watched Cheaper By The Dozen a few days ago. It was NOT because I was sick of watching cartoons, and NOT because I thought she would be entertained by all the children in it. And of course I did NOT spend half the movie alternating between laughter and tears. Most of all, it did NOT make me want to have more children. That's silly, all those kids making messes and constantly fighting... why any normal person would undergo permanent sterilization after seeing that movie! And as you know, I am SO normal.
~The next day, we did NOT watch Yours, Mine and Ours. Why, watching a movie about 19 kids would be a really crazy thing to do the day after watching a film about twelve! But, even if we HAD, it wouldn't have been MY idea. I'm too sane for that kind of decision-making.
~This weekend on our mini out-of-town trip, it was NOT a couple days after eating beans and chili. I think through things like that, unlike my husband. He did NOT warn me about the gaseous dangers of a meal like that right before a road trip. So of course, I did NOT constantly fart in the car. But even if I had, I would be considerate enough to roll down the window. And if I wasn't, it's because they did NOT stink so bad that it would make my soulmate want to stop the car and make me hitch-hike the rest of the way.
What about you? What have you NOT been up to lately?